Sunday, June 30, 2013

Friday, June 21, 2013

Get Off My Desk

Just a modest collection of stuff from last weekend - we didn't really have a story that goes with it, or even any pithy comments.
Ford Granada
Is that a Mercedes? (Ford asked this.  Seriously.)

Thursday, June 20, 2013

What a difference

A decent grille and a couple headlights make:

Exhibit 1, MY 1979
1979 Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme
It's like deja vu driver's ed all over again

Exhibit 2, MY 1980
1980 Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme
It's like deja vu all over again, except with no chick attached.

See you on the other side, Ray

What if Ghostbusters happened in the 1950s instead of the 1980s.
Old ambulance
The Gate Keeper and Key Master are long gone, Gozer, you little minx

Civil Servants

At some point, they all say, "Enough."
Ford LTD

Ford LTD

Pirate Treasure

Prizes await, if you're diligent, and checkl your Google maps for the Xs
Porsche 911

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Stay Classy, Phoenix

The Navin R. Johnson way

Something to ponder

Why is Phoenix the home of dead Rivieras?
Buick Riviera
Here's another one.  And another...
Buick Riviera


Monte Carlo SS aerocoupe
If only there were a sleek and elegant way to smooth the profile without ennui...

[Ed.: When taken, this shot was about the white one.  It was going to be about my friend Jerry who drove a cobbled together junkyard special MC.  In post-production, I noticed the rear window on the one next to it. The rest is history this:]

For two years, beginning in MY 1986, Chevrolet began producing "aerocoupe" versions of the Monte Carlo SS.  These are two (well, at least one) of them.
Also new this year was the Aerocoupe model. The Aerocoupe was created by modifications to the Super Sport body, including a more deeply sloped rear window and a shorter trunk lid sporting a spoiler that lay more flat than previous Super Sports. Only 200 Aerocoupes were sold to the public, which happened to be the exact number NASCAR officials required for road model features to be incorporated into the racing cars.
Per the Wikies.  But then Lumina appeared, and all the ungainly dorkishness was decommissioned.

The real tragedy is not that some POS Chevy was rendered obsolete.  It is that NASCAR no longer even pretends to have more than the barest cosmetic connection to actual production cars.

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

The Standard of the World

of family trucksters.  Somehow "shooting brake" doesn't do it justice, or at least wildly overstates its capabilities.
1973 Cadillac Fleetwood wagon

The one that didn't crash

in the Nevada desert.  Tanned, rested and ready, Mr. Willard Whyte Blofeld.  Much more so than your incompetent security force, or you, since you're dead in an English chimney somewhere.
1972 Ford LTD
At least its wheels didn't go rolling off like a moon buggy

To be fair, this is a '72; DAF LTDs were '71s.

Monday, June 17, 2013

Denver, 1996

Except no.

  • 2013
  • not Parker Colorado.
  • A/C is NOT optional.
  • Vinyl seats=death
  • yellow vinyl doesn't save you.
Still, we have a soft spot for you, Mr. 1979 Ford Fairmont Futura.

American Exceptionalism?

1966 Oldsmobile Toronado
Or just giant testicles? We know this car - the 1966 Oldsmobile Toronado.  (We may even know this yellow one.) Anyway, not to get political, but who else in the world would build:
  • a "sports car"
  • That seats 6 - bench seats and column shifter
  • with pop up headlights 
  • 425 cid V8. 9 mpg
  • front wheel drive
Wait, what?  Who the hell else does that?

Now it Cuts Like a Knife

But it feels so right
Ya it cuts like a knife
But it feels so right
Lyrics from

Especially if that knive is jagged and rusty, like at Philmont.
1968 Oldsmobile Cutlass hardtop

Wouldn't you really rather have a Buick?

Well maybe not these particular ones...
1969 Buick Electra 225
Motors are for the weak, anyway

Sunday, June 16, 2013

You Will Believe

A car can fly...
Cadillac Eldorado

Some days, C/D nailed it

This is not one, unless the girl in pink short shorts is lurking somewhere.

I'm Reminded of the Guy

who sold my folks their house, then DUIed his vette into a tree around the corner. During my basement party. While i was trying to grope a fellow quiz-bowler.
One flamboyant cockblock.

Also Art, the chicken magnate.

Name That Car

We're just not sure about this one. Our first thought was Hudson Hornet, but it is not quite the car in Porky's. So, have at it.

For Sale: 1955 Chevrolet

1955 Chevrolet
Clean, one owner.

I Hate Car Dealers

Ford Escort

Today's Reason:  Your local Ford dealer.
This is an 88-90 Ford Escort - your basic shitty econobox of the day, made as ugly as possible in its last years on this platform - bad taillights and ugly WalMart bumpers to announce to the world that you:
  • were stupid
  • were cheap
  • didn't care, or 
  • had put on your mommy pants and given up on the world.
But wait, it gets worse.

The Bread and Circuses Incident

You bring this blog's pageviews down, Flavius, and we'll do a special on you.
Look! A Centurion! No, not that guy.
My neck feels like it's been twisted off.

Not him either.  This, though...

Tuesday, June 11, 2013


It's rare enough to see surviving 1982+ Celicas. It's rarer still to see the first take on the surface excitement generation of creased and folded and gratuitously lumpy and trenched ones with the Porsche 928-esque forward flipping lights, rather than the 1984-85 flip up lights.

Toyota Celica
As opposed to these

The Prisoner of Zenda

Or a prisonoer of its own neglected fabulousness
Lincoln Continental Mark III
Lincoln Continental Mark III

At the Sign of the Cat

which is ironic, because there were only rats and junkyard dogs in sight.  Nonetheless, let's race!

1967 Mercury Cougar junk
the hood scoop multiplies the power by 100. 0 x 100 = ___?

The Ever Growing Throng

We're starting a new series, mostly at Drive-By Shootings, called "Go Fence Yourself."  We've been exploring the barren Martian wasteland of Phoenix, lately.  What better time than high summer, right?  In beautiful South Phoenix and Maryvale, EVERYTHING has a fence.  Industrial park parking lots top their chain link fences with razor wire.  That's how we say
GTFO "welcome!"Or cinder block, for  a hearty handshake to go with your welcome Or on top of cinder block, for a hearty ass kicking opaque handshake to go with your "Go Die" "welcome."

What also dots the bombed out apocalypse of post-industrial, forgotten Phoenix is junkyards.  Some are official businesses, some are hoards, some are parts bins for the unlicensed dealers selling frankenstein-like, cobbled together deathtraps on Craigslist.  We even started a new blog dedicated to the fences themselves (because focusing is hard and the cars come out all blurry).

Inside the fences, there are stories told in sheet metal.  Sometimes, too, there are prizes.  (Sometimes there are just booby prizes.)  Here are a few examples of the former:

A Toyota Corona 1900
Toyota Corona 1900
When "Made In Japan" meant dead in a year.

A Hudson Hornet (maybe)? There's a whole slew of Porky's jokes, especially considering the sketchy desolate neighborhood of warehouses and strip joints where we found it.
Hudson Hornet?
Porky fell on hard times...

Sometimes, the prizes still run. (Or fly.)
1967 Ford Thunderbird
Red = Win.  Every time.

We invite you to drop by the other joints for more.