Tuesday, October 23, 2012

when I think about you, I touch my...

sheepskin seat covers?  Wait, what?
We know that leather seats are just the coolest things ever.  Case in point:
Continental seats

Leather is soft. Leather is supple. Leather fuses to your skin when you get into a car whose interior has been superheated to 200 degrees because you couldn't find covered parking in Phoenix in July.  That's why god invented sheepskin seat covers.  No more melting into the seat!  When October rolls around and summer finally gives up the ghost, take them off, and enjoy the leather. (Ask Lurlene exactly how that is accomplished.)

But wait, there's still more:
Bubba: Anyway, like I was sayin', shrimp is the fruit of the sea. You can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, saute it. Dey's uh, shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried. There's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich. That- that's about it.
Anyway, like I was sayin', there's Sheepskin Floor Mats, Sheepskin seat inserts, Sheepskin seat belt covers, Sheepskin steering wheel covers, sheepskin wash mitts...

Whatever you want out of a sheepskin (that's not named Fourex) the folks at Comfy American Sheepskin have it.

Sunday, October 14, 2012

What to Drive

To Founder's Day 1986, because what the fuck? Who doesn't rent a car in order to transport your date who thinks you're hilarious but will never ever fuck you?  Who doesn't rent a car for a banquet held at your very own frat house, just like every other kegger weekend?

1983 Ford Thunderbird
Should have driven it to the strip club instead, dude.
Drive-By Shootings: Best Fairmont Ever.

Friday, October 12, 2012

Cars & Coffee: Deathmobile

Otter: Flounder, I am appointing you pledge representative to the social committee.
Flounder: Gee Otter, thanks. What do I have to do?
Otter: It means you have to drive us to the Food King.

Lincoln Continental
D-Day: Hey, quit your blubberin'. When I get through with this baby you won't even recognize it.
Otter: Flounder, you can't spend your whole life worrying about your mistakes! You fucked up... you trusted us! Hey, make the best of it! Maybe we can help.
Flounder: [crying] That's easy for you to say! What am I going to tell Fred?
Otter: I'll tell you what. We'll tell Fred you were doing a great job taking care of his car, but you parked it out back last night and this morning... it was gone. We report it as stolen to the police. D-Day takes care of the wreck. Your brother's insurance company buys him a new car.
Flounder: Will that work?
Otter: Hey, it's gotta work better than the truth.
Bluto: [thrusting six-pack into Flounder's hands] My advice to you is to start drinking heavily.
Otter: Better listen to him, Flounder, he's in pre-med.
D-Day: [firing up blow-torch] There you go now, just leave everything to me.

David E. Davis Was Wrong

He said the A-bodies would be the most successful GM cars ever.  Why was he wrong?

  • No v. 1.0 models exist any longer.  There are plenty of 1.5s like this - well, more than zero - and you can't swing a dead cat without hitting a 2.0.  Still, Cadillac Escalade.  Boom, roasted.

  • This?  AYFKM?  Yellow on the outside, brown on the inside?  Bizarro world dog turd is what that is.
Buick Century 1.5
Chocolate velvet on the inside

The decline and fall of Western civilization

The decline and fall of Western civilization began with this: the Plymouth Voyager

Plymouth Voyager
Worst K-Car Ever

Now here me out.  After this came:

  • Baby on board signs

  • Iran Contra

Monday, October 8, 2012

What to Drive

What to Drive to scout meetings in winter, when you work for Fisher Body and are unfailingly loyal to the team, no matter what shitboxes wear the label.  Sorry about that trunk we scratched up.  Who knew snow would do that?

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

The Elephant Graveyard

Dead Toronados as far as the eye can see.
1966 Oldsmobile Tornado
1967 Oldsmobile Tornado

Lunchtime Themepark

1982 Ford Granada

It is alive.  The 1982 Ford Granada.  Of the two we got in the states, this is the less worse one.

Naturally, I saw it pass in cross-traffic as I was arming my camera.  D-ooh! Too slow.

(Also missed in that split second?  A Buick Century - not the kind for roadtrips to MSU)