Friday, April 29, 2011

My future trunk space

Once you people start paying me for my copyrighted artwork (or visiting the things over there ->)  Imagine how fabulous my art could be if only it were in focus!

The plan however (as thorough as it is) involves some serious kit. Between us we will carry 10 cameras and a vast array of glass from 800 and 600mm lenses down to a 15mm fish eye and an even wider lens on a Go-Pro action camera. Conservatively this is 50kg (110 pounds) of kit each.

via Reuters Team Photo Gear for Shooting the Royal Wedding.

110 lbs?  That's me carrying my girlfriend around in a satchel.

Best London taxi Ever

1977 Rolls-Royce Phantom VI

All rise… for the Rolls-Royce Phantom VI - BBC Top Gear.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Make that Double Double well done

[caption id="attachment_13113" align="alignnone" width="640"] Animal Fries[/caption]

PHOENIX, 4/21/11 - In-n-out burger truck on fire on I-10.  Insert 4/20 joke here.


Monday, April 18, 2011

Why yes, they're real

[caption id="attachment_13097" align="alignnone" width="402"] fairings and saddlebags?[/caption]

For all the black label society/sober rider/yuppie fuckstains in designer leather poseurs we have, the real thing-HAMC, such as it is- still rides in AZ.  You've been warned.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Yeah, I drove it

[caption id="attachment_13083" align="alignnone" width="640"] Not as topless as I would like[/caption]

[caption id="attachment_13084" align="alignnone" width="640"] Not as topless as it needed to be to give anyone any actual headroom or visibility[/caption]

My name is Ace McSkyler,

and I'm a brah, bro

[caption id="attachment_13078" align="alignnone" width="640"] Dooooooood[/caption]

Why Yes, They're Real

Eat the Rich

[caption id="attachment_13072" align="alignnone" width="640"] Yeah, it's like that in every driveway[/caption]

Parasite Valley, Arizona:  trees are colorful; cars that cost more than my house:  blecch grey.

Why yes, they're real

[caption id="attachment_13067" align="alignnone" width="640"]2012 Chevrolet Volt Best Prius ever[/caption]

the end of the world 2012 Chevrolet E-Z-GO golf cart Volt.


Friday, April 15, 2011

Why yes, I AM fabulously wealthy and I WOULD like a hand job

[caption id="attachment_13063" align="alignnone" width="640"] or not[/caption]

One of these says that.  The other says, "I'm just in town for the Amway convention, but you won't believe the lotion samples I have."

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Grandpa... bought a rubber

[caption id="attachment_13057" align="alignnone" width="640"]Chrysler LeBaron Town & Country Family Truckster? A Volare by any other name....[/caption]

and kept it in his wallet, just in case a water landing went bad for Grandma.

True Story:
Grandma:  This car (rented LeBaron)  is nice enough, but i would never want to own one.
Everyone else:  Huh? Why?
Grandma:  Because it only comes with power windows.
Everyone else:  Huh? What's wrong with that?
Grandma:  What if you drove into a lake and they shorted out?  How could you escape?
MythbustersWatch our show, old lady.
Grandpa:  No, don't.



Monday, April 11, 2011

Best Bus Stop Ever

(apart from the ones by the strip clubs)

[caption id="attachment_12949" align="alignnone" width="640"] Hot Coffee and Rolls[/caption]

Life imitates... life?

2000 Dodge Grand Caravan Sport2000 Dodge Grand Caravan Sport

A million years ago, my Hyundai was a piece of shit, and the wife wanted a minivan.  A $27,000 7 passenger minivan.  Why that one?  Because the second row had built in booster seats.  Any van could have managed the soccer mom, grocery getter jobs, but we needed a palatial stretch with painted bumpers and a useless spoiler in order to get the bucket seats that folded down into boosters, so that kid 2 didn't need a separate booster seat.

(Yes, I went along with this bullshit.  Mea culpa. I didn't do the math and I hoped to get laid out of the deal.
Karma:  What a shock.

Or at least rank higher than the kids.)

Anyway, the point is a $13,000 premium for excess capacity, some pointless doodads, just to get the convenience of not moving a booster seat from car to car or just buying a new one for Kid 2.  (and a surrendered man card.)  But the kid was worth it.

Fast forward to 2011.  Wife is now EXwife.  Kid 2 is explicitly behind Kid 1 in that house, which is not news.  What is news, is that she is explicitly behind the boyfriend.*  So much so that ex cut her loose - "Go live with your dad."

*Kid 1 is likely also behind the BF in most respects, but that is more of a subliminal message and a race to 18 before she figures it out at this point.

The good news for Kid 2:  Dad has the palace.  Kid 2 doesn't have to worry about rankings or position because home means not keeping score.  Kid 2 does chores and gets breakfast.  And, Dad got his man card back.

Friday, April 8, 2011

You're Doing It Wrong

Cannonball Run edition.

[caption id="attachment_12868" align="alignnone" width="640"]1971 Dodge Challenger Turn left at Albuquerque[/caption]

It's easier to win the race with a 3,000 mile head start - unless you're going the wrong way. *cough* Brock Yates *cough*

Thursday, April 7, 2011

God Save the Queen

[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="420"] what 420 looks like in metric[/caption]

[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="400"] What 420 looks like in drag.[/caption]



Saturday, April 2, 2011


1977 Cadillac Coupe de Ville
There is no substitute for cubic inches. Except specific output.  The 1977 425 is the shittiest Cadillac engine since the 1976 500.  Only type A GM execs with anger management issues think this is anything except a bloated Impala in every dimension.