Thursday, December 23, 2010

Skeeching, 2010 style


Giddy-up, Giddy-up Godzilla!.

Who needs a Ford Country Squire in the junior high parking lot when Dad's got fucking Godzilla?

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

What do you mean it's not perfect already?

Canon 60D

Canon EOS 60D Firmware Update Version 1.0.8 | PhotographyBLOG.

I'm crushed by this news.  Or ambivalent.  It's so hard to tell.

Monday, December 20, 2010

Leisure Suits and Gold Chains

1977 Chevrolet Corvette
Crank the bee gees and let your polyester freak flag fly
I've got the obligatory Hendrix perm and the inevitable pinhole burns
Now all down the front of my favorite satin shirt
I've got nicotine stains on my fingers, I've got a silver spoon on a chain
Got a grand piano to prop up my mortal remains
Pink Floyd, Nobody Home
It's the 1970s.  You are a swinging real estate broker with a taste for Popov and an itchy lead foot that you hope can replace your desperate need for Viagra and blow jobs...

Live and Let Die

Mr. Big in Phoenix

[caption id="attachment_8073" align="alignnone" width="640"]1972 Cadillac Coupe de Ville You ain't gonna see the sunlight unless you answer me![/caption]

[caption id="attachment_8074" align="alignnone" width="640"]1972 Cadillac Coupe de Ville Toby. Toby! I got me a regular Ben-Hur down here. Doing 95... minimum[/caption]

[caption id="attachment_8075" align="alignnone" width="640"]1972 Cadillac Coupe de Ville Is THIS the stupid mother who tailed you uptown?[/caption]

Another Thursday, another Cadillac, although (evidently) there is a body or 10 in the trunk.

Sunday, December 19, 2010


[caption id="attachment_8042" align="alignnone" width="640"]2011 Ferrari California Pay your surgeon very well[/caption]
Pay your surgeon very well
To break the spell of aging
Sicker then the rest, there is no test
But this is what you're craving

Red Hot Chili Peppers

Californication lyrics
Songwriters: Balzary, Michael Peter; Frusciante, John; Smith, Chad; Kiedis, Anthony;

Friday, December 10, 2010

You might be a dumbass if...

1994 Kia Sephia
Yes, the resemblance of "Sephia" to "syphillis" IS quite a coincidence

you drive a '94 Kia Sephia.  I drove a pre-production one at a focus group event.  It was my "prize" for owning a Geo.  The identity of the Sephia was easy enough to deduce once I looked at the tape one the steering wheel.  K-I-A is a pretty recognizable silhouette, people.  (Not the cool kind either)  This is one of the biggest shitboxes you can imagine.  It's owners must be excellent drivers because just looking at it cross eyed will total it out.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Short People Got No Reason To Live

I'm not short! Really!
I didn't think my Corolla was all that big, or that Vantages were small, until I saw this.

New Shoes

[caption id="attachment_7921" align="alignnone" width="640"]2008 Scion xB More like Big 8 Sports than the Nike store[/caption]

In case you forgot, this is what it used to be like.  Thanks, Discount Tire.  I so much prefer a little sidewall, without the slashes of those abused Hankooks.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

If you have to ask...

then I'll tell you. Yeah, that shit does make you look like a fucking imbecile.

[caption id="attachment_7907" align="alignnone" width="640"] Helion: It's how they say "dumbass" at J.C. Whitney[/caption]

What's wrong with this picture?

  1. Add on spoiler - bigger is not automatically better.  Ask a non-inflatable woman to explain it to you. J.C. Whitney loves you!

  2. Shit wheels and puny 35-series tires.  Discount Tire sees you coming a mile away.  So does every chiropractor in town.

  3. Skirts?  Just because you wear them is no reason to force them on your car, nancyboy

  4. Plastic fake scoop/vents on the rear windows.  Fake is for tits on strippers, not sports cars.  Well, unless you really meant to conjure the plastic impotent tarts of the 70s.

  5. One wonders if the relocated "Shelby" and the fake gas cap snake were simply added on to create a discount Shelby from a Mustang GT.  Hmmmm.

Phid comes to Phoenix?

[caption id="attachment_7901" align="alignnone" width="640"]1966 Chevrolet Corvair It could happen[/caption]

but not in his Corvair.  It's in this kind of shape.

[caption id="attachment_24888" align="alignnone" width="640"]Chevrolet Corvair No need to worry about Unsafe at Any Speed. "Ran when parked" is not a speed.[/caption]





Tempe, Arizona: Hippytown USA

[caption id="attachment_7894" align="alignnone" width="640"] Mmm, patchouli and Birkenstocks[/caption]

Consider this:

  1. Street Fair

  2. pedestrians

  3. homicidal curbhunter medians traffic calming

  4. bike lanes with spontaneous ramps to protect you from "calmed" traffic

  5. electric cars

  6. coming soon: medical marijuana

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

I shall call him...

Mini me

[caption id="attachment_7684" align="alignnone" width="640"] Tiny bubbles...[/caption]