Thursday, April 29, 2010

Fancy Parking

Fancy Parking is still the new hotness

[caption id="attachment_5912" align="alignnone" width="480" caption="Cop: I'm mad pimpin' yo. Pimp: Shut the fuck up, cracker"]Phoenix Police Tahoe parked on the sidewalk[/caption]

Arizona law allows cops to piss on the very laws they pretend to enforce in order to enforce the law.
Karma:  Mindfucking, isn't it?

This clown's excuse for blocking the sidewalk?  Wait for it...

[caption id="attachment_5913" align="alignnone" width="480" caption="Time to eat the..."]Cops at a donut spa[/caption]

Donuts

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Diamonds Are Forever

[caption id="attachment_5785" align="alignnone" width="479"]1968 Ford Thunderbird Well, one of us smells like a tart's handkerchief.  I'm afraid it's me.  Sorry, old boy.[/caption]
Mr. Wint: If at first you don't succeed Mr. Kidd...?
Mr. Kidd: Try, try again, Mr. Wint.

(Actually, this is a '68.  This generation came with 2 doors or 4.  The Bond villain car was a 1971.)

Welcome to Phoenix, Terminator T-X

[caption id="attachment_5783" align="alignnone" width="480" caption="I think I liked you better topless - er, in the convertible... "][/caption]

Monday, April 19, 2010

Arizona to Gonzo: Bend Over and Take It Like a Man

I am innocent, no matter what that cop on a motorcycle just past the crest of a hill says.

Speed Trap, bike path. We don't fucking care. We'll still get you, Gonzo

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Why yes they're real

The world's coolest golf cart.

[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="480"] Of all the days to have dead batteries[/caption]

3rd St and Palm, 5:18 p.m. today.

5 minutes earlier, I got a "your batteries are low" message, so I did not have it on and ready to fire.  Of course NOW, the error message is gone.

[Ed.: IRONY WIN!!!]

There's too many self-indulgent wieners in this city with too much bloody money!

[caption id="attachment_5668" align="alignnone" width="480"] The pylon tells you that people really race these saucy little club tarts. Yeah, right.[/caption]
Roger the Scottsdale Ferrari Salesman: My name's Roger, Sir. May I be of some help?
Memphis: That's funny, my name's Roger... Two Rogers don't make a right.
[laughs]
Memphis: Roger, I have a problem...
Roger the Car Salesman: Yes?
Memphis: I've been in L.A. for three months now. I have money, I have taste. But I'm not on anybody's "A" list, and Saturday night is the loneliest night for the week for me.
Roger the Car Salesman: Well, a Ferrari would certainly change that.
Memphis: Perhaps, Mmmm. But, you know, this is the one. Yes, yes yes... I saw three of these parked outside the local Starbucks this morning, which tells me only one thing. There's too many self-Indulgent wieners in this city with too much bloody money! Now, if I was driving a 1967 275 GTB four-cam...
Roger the Car Salesman: You would not be a self-indulgent wiener, sir... You'd be a connoisseur.
Memphis: Precisely. Champagne would fall from the heavens. Doors would open. Velvet ropes would part.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Date Night in Mesa

[caption id="attachment_5632" align="alignnone" width="480" caption="Baby when you said the cuffs would get whipped out later, i was thinking something way different"][/caption]
COPS is filmed on location with the men and women of law enforcement. All suspects are innocent until proven guilty in a court of law.

Shall we raise our shields, Captain?

[caption id="attachment_5627" align="alignnone" width="480"]Porsche 911 Turbo Klingon warship or ass engine Nazi sled car? I've never been this close[/caption]

Separated at Birth?

Squint a little. You'll see it.

[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="454" caption="Sarah Palin"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_5618" align="alignnone" width="461" caption="This is a different kind of Decepticon"][/caption]

Monday, April 5, 2010

Billy Batson in Phoenix

[caption id="attachment_5601" align="alignnone" width="480"] Traveling the highways and byways[/caption]

The whole story is here.

Friday, April 2, 2010

Sparkle Buggy Wash Classics

Having piles of hookers and blow doesn't mean you're not a moron
Pretend it's 1984. The DOT has just legalized flush headlights(on the Lincoln Continental Mark VII). You cannot wait for it to trickle down to mere Jaguars, so you spend $3,000 getting European style converted headlights. Then you take your saucy little tart for a little freshening.

Where?

Not the car spa for a happy finish. No, you go to the insanotron Sparkle Buggy Wash. WTF, dude? Is a $3.50 beating with brushes by high school dropouts (mostly) really worth it? I'm just askin'.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

In Sarah Palin's America

we would "death panel" these POSs

[caption id="attachment_5569" align="alignnone" width="480"] New Yorker/Reliant[/caption]

[caption id="attachment_5570" align="alignnone" width="479"] Cadillac Cavalier[/caption]

In JD Hayworth's America, we would lynch the brown guys driving them (unless they had their papers). Welcome to Arizona

Just another day of Porsches

[caption id="attachment_5564" align="alignnone" width="480" caption="Carrera S"]Porsche 911 Carrera S[/caption]

[caption id="attachment_5566" align="alignnone" width="480" caption="997"]Porsche 911[/caption]

Just say no

John Law:  Do you consent to a search of your vehicle?
You (inner monologue):  Only a criminal would say no.
You:  Sure
John Law: * dons rubber glove*  Take a deep breath...
Ooo...lookie here!!!

"And that, kids, was the day I met my prison husband Francis Psycho."