Friday, October 30, 2009

Scenes from a mall

Up close it's a fake. Any thoughts on the base car?

[caption id="attachment_24774" align="alignnone" width="640"]countach replica It's the right color, at least. for a Fiero[/caption]

P.S. Far away, too...

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Pimpin' Ain't Easy

[caption id="attachment_4302" align="alignnone" width="560"]1979 Lincoln Continental Mark V Do they make Rogaine for vinyl roofs?[/caption]

Your chariot suffers the ravages of time and crack.  All your shit falls off:  roof, exhaust, little black rub strip...

Curb feelers

[caption id="attachment_4303" align="alignnone" width="560"]Welcome to the jungle Welcome to the jungle[/caption]

your McMansion in the 'burbs?  Well, that concept gets revisited too.

The San Francisco Treat

In case you wondered:  yes, rice did go out of style four fuckingly long years ago (at least); no, not everybody got the memo.

[caption id="attachment_4297" align="alignnone" width="560"]Fluff is the color and the job of the driver I'm guessing Fluff is the color and the job of the driver I'm guessing (or glory holing, based on that bumper)[/caption]

Sarah Palin in Phoenix

[caption id="attachment_4285" align="alignnone" width="548"]It's no mere Cougar It's no mere Cougar[/caption]

This is an '89-92 Cougar/  I know, you're already thinking dirty librarian and political aspirant Sarah "Bone Me" Palin at the mere mention of "Cougar."  But wait.  There's more.  It's got a Thunderbird bumper, and not just any T-bird either - a Thunderbird SC.  On THAT car, SC stood for "Super[charged] Coupe."  Obviously, on this car, it's more likely chosen for "Super Cougar."

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Sometimes the traffic asshole is easy to spot

[caption id="attachment_4279" align="alignnone" width="560"]Yup, it's me Yup, it's me[/caption]

Mr. Isuzu Amigo, the fine condition of your car reflects your destiny as a traffic fatality.  Just sayin'.

1973 Dodge Charger

[caption id="attachment_4274" align="alignnone" width="560"]1973 Dodge Charger Your engine's on fire, FWIW[/caption]

This does not quite rise to the level of an Acid Flashback, since my only connection to one was that for a short time,  a sometimes asshole manager at the BK lounge (not one of these guys) drove a red one somewhere around this vintage.  Mostly, the point is "Hey look, an old car in Phoenix - we're like an updated version of Cuba!"

Saturday, October 24, 2009

You can't escape the BK Lounge

You can take the punk ass teen out of the BK Lounge, but it's never far away...
Larry Mathis after some sun bleaching

speaking of fat asses *cough* Bill Shoenshack *cough*

Friday, October 23, 2009

Biker madness

[caption id="attachment_4246" align="alignnone" width="560"]Ride to live; live to ride Ride to live; live to ride[/caption]

So maybe we do have Angels in our midst...

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Mike Brady, toolin' around

[caption id="attachment_4238" align="alignnone" width="640"]1969 Plymouth Fury I got me a Chrysler, it's as big as a whale...[/caption]

Hey Mike?  I don't see Carol's head.  I'm just sayin'...

[caption id="attachment_4239" align="alignnone" width="628"]1969 Plymouth Fury The hood is bigger than my bed. Carol likes that, I bet[/caption]

Plymouth Fury III.  Looks like a 1970.

Monday, October 19, 2009

What the hell were we thinking, vol. 147

1979 Ford Thunderbird
Thunderbirds are go! Tony Manero, your pimp sled is ready

This is what passed for style.  How do we know it's a 1979?  The headlight covers have birds on them (added for 1978) and the grille now has larger rectangles.  (The taillights have abandoned the effort to visually connect to one another.)  Trust me.

The really awesome part of this is that this same mad sexy car  is, underneath the "coach" windows and "opera" windows and puny back seats is the same as these:

Sunday, October 18, 2009

You Can't Spell "Scorpion stings all over would be preferable to this POS" without "Scorpio"

[caption id="attachment_4175" align="alignnone" width="560"]1989 Merkur Scorpio Worst Marquis Ever[/caption]

This is obviously a photoshop.  Seriously.  A "Merkur" (nee German Ford) Scorpio that:

  • is not rusted out

  • appears to have arrived under its own "power"

  • has more than the owner looking at it - no one's laughing and pointing; no one's barfing

  • has race parts?  WTF?

What the fuck was 8 Barrel thinking, trading a Mustang GT for this.  Oh wait.  Kids.  It could have been worse.  It could have been a Ford Tempo.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Name that Car

[caption id="attachment_4168" align="alignnone" width="552"]It looks vaguely familiar, but... It looks vaguely familiar, but...[/caption]

Yeah, I know - it says "Charger."  Look closer.

  • the buttresses and side windows look like '60s Chrysler.

  • Amber turn signals before the 80s? (The Granada versions in the 70s were fakes)

  • No outside mirror?

  • Inside mirror pointed to the right?

I believe we have an Aussie in our midst, the Charger 770.  Smelling the roses has its rewards.  I'll say hi to Mad Max next time.

It hurts my head to just to look at it

[caption id="attachment_4162" align="alignnone" width="560" caption="The stuff of nightmares"]The stuff of nightmares[/caption]

I'm sorry.  Every time I pass this house, the roof gives me acid flashbacks to plane and solid geometry with Rollie Akers Griswold.