Saturday, December 3, 2005

Oops, I Crapped My... Driveway?

[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="500"]Crap Cars Richard Porter Learn it. Know it. Live it.[/caption]

All crap, all the time, featuring:

I will have you know that none of my cars made the POS hall of fame turdology. How they escaped notice, I cannot tell you. Must be the same way that Starfires, Opels (any), and Isuzus (any) slipped by. Judge the following automotive pukefests for yourself...

[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="640"]1971 VW 411 Crappiest Car ever[/caption]

Not even VW knew how to make this crapfest work.  Neither did the poor sap who bought it for $175.

1988 Ford Festiva 1990 Suzuki Swift

The one on the right is the bigger POS. The one on the left (Festiva) was killed before its alleged POS-ness (per Molly) came to light

[caption id="attachment_16833" align="alignnone" width="640"]1980 Mercury Zephyr 88 hp doesn't get you far fast.[/caption]

Compared to a Ford Maverick - a 1980 Mercury Zephyr is the shit. Otherwise, it's just a piece of it...

If it makes you feel any better, I have ridden in, slept in, known an idiot frat brother who drove, crashed into or been crashed by nos. 50, 49, 46, 28, 26, 23, 22, 21, 19, 18 (its evil, shittier cousin), 16, 15, 14, 12, 11, 8, 7, 6, 2, and of course 1.

*Really, the "LeCar" should be named "la voiture," but who in a WalMart parking lot could hope to pronounce it?
Buford: La Vulture'? WTF, Ethel? Who drives a dang buzzard?
Ethel: Shucks, I don't know